伊朗大举入侵：一场文字冒险
2 分•作者: brooksc•3 个月前
椭圆形办公室
这里有“决心桌”，还有几把镀金椅子。房间中央是总统印章，墙上挂着一面全身镜。
> 按下按钮
侍者进来，递给你一杯健怡可乐。
> 入侵伊朗
你还不能这么做。
> 往右走
MAGA 右翼
你坚定地站在政治光谱的右侧。
埃隆·马斯克在这里。
塔克·卡尔森在这里。
> 往右走
极端 MAGA
你处于政治光谱的最右端。
劳拉·卢默在这里。
尼克·富恩特斯在这里。
> 入侵伊朗
你还不能这么做。
> 去度假
海湖庄园
你来到了你在佛罗里达州美丽的俱乐部。
基德·洛克在这里。
浴室里有一个装有机密文件的盒子。
> 去集会
竞选集会
你身处宾夕法尼亚州的一个飞机库里，现场聚集着一大群爱国者，后面是假新闻媒体。
这里有一个提词器。
> 阅读提词器
你无视提词器，抱怨现代淋浴的水压问题，持续了二十分钟。
远处，伊朗将铀浓缩到 60% 的纯度。
> 阅读提词器
你无视提词器，讨论风力发电机如何摧毁鸟类。
伊朗将铀浓缩到 90% 的纯度。
> 回家
你乘坐“空军一号”飞回白宫。
椭圆形办公室
> 发表讲话
你想对谁发表讲话？
> 真相社交
你在手机上用大写字母打出讲话稿。
> 入侵伊朗
你还不能这么做。
> 威胁盟友
你威胁要退出北约，并告诉欧洲国家需要支付账单。
埃马纽埃尔·马克龙在这里，看起来筋疲力尽。
> 入侵伊朗
（首先退出北约。）
你还不能这么做。
> 解雇专家
“将军们根本不知道他们在说什么。我对无人机的了解比任何人都多。”
> 大写字母外交
“致伊朗领导人：永远，永远不要再威胁美国，否则你们将遭受历史上极少有人遭受过的后果。”
> 施加最大压力
你制裁伊朗的一切，包括开心果种植者。
> 忽视情报
你用有线电视新闻频道的忠诚者取代了国家情报总监。
你袭击伊朗的计划现在没有得到任何国际盟友的支持，但基本盘很喜欢。
> 入侵伊朗
德黑兰空域
你进入了伊朗领空，发动了一波大规模、华丽、完美的战术打击。你似乎找不到承诺的政权崩溃，但爆炸的画面在社交媒体上看起来非常棒！
> 给予合同
你想把合同给谁？
> 埃隆
你想给埃隆什么类型的合同？
> 无招标锂矿开采
你将无招标开采合同给了特斯拉。
> 宣布胜利
“我们进行了一次完美的打击。许多人说这是历史上最成功的军事行动。”
> 保持航向
霍尔木兹海峡的局势恶化。
> 检查任务
任务被困在不对称的代理人战争中。
> 保持航向
霍尔木兹海峡的局势恶化。
一些无人机蜂群抵达。
> 保持航向
中东局势恶化。
全球航运停滞。
> 征收关税
你对任何抱怨通货膨胀飙升的国家征收 200% 的关税。
中东局势恶化。
一些弹道导弹抵达。
> 保持航向
中东局势恶化。
汽油价格达到每加仑 9 美元。
> 评分
你的支持率是 38%，满分 100%。
> 承认错误
语法错误。未识别的命令。
> 承担责任
错误 404：数据库中未找到概念。
> 责怪深层政府
“激进的左翼马克思主义将军们完全搞砸了我交给他们的美好计划。”
> 退出
哦，我们多么希望你退出。
灵感来自 http://bit.ly/42rw5X6
查看原文
Oval Office
There is the Resolute Desk here, along with a few gold-plated chairs. The presidential seal is in the middle of the room and there is a full-length mirror upon the wall.<p>> PUSH BUTTON<p>A valet enters and hands you a Diet Coke.<p>> INVADE IRAN<p>You are not able to do that, yet.<p>> GO RIGHT<p>MAGA Right
You are firmly on the right of the political spectrum.
Elon Musk is here.
Tucker Carlson is here.<p>> GO RIGHT<p>Extreme MAGA
You are on the absolute furthest right edge of the political spectrum.
Laura Loomer is here.
Nick Fuentes is here.<p>> INVADE IRAN<p>You are not able to do that, yet.<p>> TAKE VACATION<p>Mar-a-Lago
You are at your beautiful club in Florida.
Kid Rock is here.
There is a box of classified documents in the bathroom.<p>> GO RALLY<p>Campaign Rally
You are at an airplane hangar in Pennsylvania, along with a massive crowd of patriots and the Fake News media in the back.
There is a teleprompter here.<p>> READ TELEPROMPTER<p>You ignore the teleprompter and complain about the water pressure in modern showers for twenty minutes.
In the distance, Iran enriches uranium to 60% purity.<p>> READ TELEPROMPTER<p>You ignore the teleprompter and discuss how windmills are destroying the birds.
Iran enriches uranium to 90% purity.<p>> GO HOME<p>You fly on Trump Force One back to the White House.
Oval Office<p>> GIVE SPEECH<p>Who do you want to give the speech to?<p>> TRUTH SOCIAL<p>You type the speech in all caps on your phone.<p>> INVADE IRAN<p>You are not able to do that, yet.<p>> THREATEN ALLIES<p>You threaten to pull out of NATO and tell European countries they need to pay their bills.
Emmanuel Macron is here, looking exhausted.<p>> INVADE IRAN<p>(Leaving NATO first.)
You are not able to do that, yet.<p>> FIRE EXPERTS<p>"The generals don't know what they are talking about. I know more about drones than anybody."<p>> CAPSLOCK DIPLOMACY<p>"TO THE LEADERS OF IRAN: NEVER, EVER THREATEN THE UNITED STATES AGAIN OR YOU WILL SUFFER CONSEQUENCES THE LIKES OF WHICH FEW THROUGHOUT HISTORY HAVE EVER SUFFERED BEFORE."<p>> APPLY MAXIMUM PRESSURE<p>You sanction everything in Iran, including the pistachio farmers.<p>> IGNORE INTELLIGENCE<p>You replace the Director of National Intelligence with a loyalist from cable news.
Your plan to attack Iran now has the backing of zero international allies, but the base loves it.<p>> INVADE IRAN<p>Tehran Airspace
You enter Iranian airspace, having launched a massive, beautiful, perfect wave of tactical strikes. You can't seem to find the promised regime collapse, but the footage of the explosions looks tremendous on social media!<p>> GIVE CONTRACTS<p>Who do you want to give the contracts to?<p>> ELON<p>What kind of contracts do you wish to give to Elon?<p>> NO-BID LITHIUM MINING<p>You give the no-bid extraction contracts to Tesla.<p>> DECLARE VICTORY<p>"We had a perfect strike. Many people are saying it was the most successful military operation in history."<p>> STAY COURSE<p>The situation in the Strait of Hormuz deteriorates.<p>> EXAMINE MISSION<p>The mission is tied up in asymmetrical proxy warfare.<p>> STAY COURSE<p>The situation in the Strait of Hormuz deteriorates.
Some drone swarms arrive.<p>> STAY COURSE<p>The situation in the Middle East deteriorates.
Global shipping halts.<p>> DO TARIFFS<p>You apply a 200% tariff on any country that complains about the inflation spike.
The situation in the Middle East deteriorates.
Some ballistic missiles arrive.<p>> STAY COURSE<p>The situation in the Middle East deteriorates.
Gas hits $9.00 a gallon.<p>> SCORE<p>Your favorability rating is 38% out of a possible 100%.<p>> ADMIT MISTAKES<p>Syntax error. Command not recognized.<p>> ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY<p>Error 404: Concept not found in database.<p>> BLAME DEEP STATE<p>"The radical left Marxist generals completely botched the beautiful plan I handed them."<p>> QUIT<p>Oh, how we wish you would.<p>Inspired by http://bit.ly/42rw5X6